I was just cleaning some things out of an old computer, and ran across this passive-aggressive list from my days doing tech support for a video game company. It’s a list of all the things I really really wanted to say to people during my calls, but never did. It’s been lightly edited, and names have been changed because I’m not here to name names.
Folks that worked with me before: admit it, you wanted to say these things too. Admit it, even if only to yourselves. The fact that we didn’t say these things is why we were total professionals and deserved way more money than we were getting paid.
1. “No, you didn’t follow the troubleshooting steps. I guarantee you missed a step, and I guarantee that step was ‘unplug it, then wait a minute before plugging it in’. You would also know that ‘take it apart and test it with a voltmeter’ is not one of the steps.”
It’s been a very long time since I’ve updated my website, which seems kind of silly since I pay for the blasted thing.
Anyways, I’m probably going to use this for things that are a little longer than the standard Facebook fare, but also things I do directly related to my art-for-hire business. Bear with me while I get the feel for this place.
Heh… “place” I said. Like this website is an actual physical place. Remember how like ALL GeoCities websites used to do that back in the day? You’d get talked into going to one, and the author would be like “yeah, just kick your feet up, relax, and enjoy your stay!” Like anyone opens a website and expects to be able to put their feet on an ottoman and order a martini, right? And exactly how much relaxing am I expected to be able to do around all these animated GIFs of hamsters and construction workers dancing to a squeaky MIDI loop of “Sweet Home Alabama”? Oh, and I dare you to find one GeoCities personal page that wasn’t perpetually “Under Construction”. I still have no idea how their business model worked; I suspect GeoCities and Angelfire were under some secret “Brewster’s Millions” contract or something.
The internet has an adorably embarrassing past, just like all of us. No wonder we love it so much.